this is the new atb

Life

I agree with what Sarah said here, a lot. There is much in my life I wish to improve. Here are some of the big things that come to mind after reading her post:

1. Physically, I need to get in shape. I think, I know I was passed over for BN CDR in part becaues I suck physically. I want that to be the last thing I miss out on because of lack of physical prowess. In a year or so, I will be with my unit and I will have a responsibility and obligation to be in shape.

2. Spirtually, I totally agree with Sarah. I feel like I’m already a “lapsed Catholic” before I was ever really a good Catholic to begin with. I don’t think I may ever be part of the “Catholic culture” and Sarah and I will more than likely join a Protestant church in Texas or Colorado, but I need to be a better Christian and a better Catholic in many, many ways. I’ve fallen a lot since Freshman year at W&L.

3. Intellectually, I need to get off my ass. Quitting debate was liberating and I now think more of and about critical theory than ever before, but I can tell i’m letting my mind atrophy in important ways. The anti-intellectual mindset in the Army and at West Point (in some places) is hurting me, but that’s no excuse. I need to work harder on my thesis and blow through a lot of books.

4. I sort of want to figure out what I want in post-Army life. That is assuming I’ll be getting out before the end of next decade (a big assumption, I know). This is sort of a pipe-dream wish, because I know circumstances will continue to change and my interests may change, but at the moment I’m incredibly conflicted with what I want in life after I take off my uniform. Do I want to go into politics? Or policy? Or business? Part of me wants to leave all that shit behind and go be a professor somewhere, or design videogames, or maybe both, with a little gonzo journalism mixed in. In the end, I believe the path will be far more clear in the coming years, especially if I get back to praying more reguarly.